This is another one of those historically accurate episodes that didn't do much for me. I don't remember when I studied the massacre on St. Bartholomew's eve, but it was very long ago and I didn't remember much of what happened. This plot is probably better suited for European viewers, where this event in history had a greater impact.
I'm not going to re-hash this entire plot, because it is way too complicated to do so. Suffice to say, it had a proper amount of intrigue and killing. This story was mostly from Steven's point of view. The Doctor was either on break, or in a mental hospital, or maybe both. He was in it in the beginning and at the very end.
This episode got confusing when we meet the Abbot of Amboise, servant to the Cardinal of Lorraine. To my knowledge this abbot never actually existed. He looks exactly like the Doctor, though and even Steven thinks that the abbot is really the Doctor in disguise. He thinks that the Doctor is dead, when the abbot is murdered. So if this is a fictional character, what was the point of the physical similarity? Now that is weird and stupid. It would have been much cooler, if the Abbot really existed in all the intrigue, and looked somewhat like the Doctor as well. But no, we can't get that sort of cool factor from the writers' imagination.
At the very end the Doctor just shows up, and tells Steven that they need to get back to the TARDIS and get the heck out of there. SO, if the Doctor was not the Abbot, then what in the name of Rachel was he doing the entire four chapters? Trimming his nails? The Doctor knows that the massacre is about to happen, and there is nothing he can do to stop it. Steven gets very angry about this, partially because the Doctor shoves little girlfriend Anne out the door, sending her home and presumably to her death. The Doctor basically states that he doesn't give a fig about it.
In the last few minutes, Steven decides that he's had enough of the timey wimey thing, so he yells at the Doctor that he's going to leave him at the next destination. Once the TARDIS lands, he runs out the door with a muttered expletive. Enough is enough! He's so mad that he doesn't even care where he's landed and proverbially slams the TARDIS door shut. Good thing they hadn't landed on Dead Plant Planet #18,453. He would have been a sad, sad man.
Once Steven disappears, the Doctor sits down in a chair and begins to mutter to himself about all his companions who have been with him, and that they have all left him. He seems kind of sad about it, but he isn't crying any alligator tears.
Just when you think Steven is gone for good, there enters a stupid, annoying girl named Dodo who is running in search of a telephone box. And then Steven comes back to warn the Doctor that several policemen are approaching. The Doctor glances at Dodo, who looks somewhat like Susan, and decides to abduct her. WHAT. Enough of the abducting teenage girls!
Steven doesn't seem to particularly mind that Dodo is there, either. Worse, Dodo brain doesn't mind either, because she "is an orphan" and wants to go funning with the Doctor and handsome Steven. WOW. Really? Not even a little trickle of tears for her aunt she's left behind?
So begins a new journey with Dodo joining Steven and the Doctor in further adventures. What is with the writers' obsession with the Doctor and teenage girls?
We also got to end the episode with real drawings of the massacre. File that one in your memory box, children.
We have a plan, and it is so evil. It is our plan of all plans. Our MASTER PLAN.
The Daleks can always be relied upon for a dismal nefarious plot, can't they? I watched this particular episode over a period of three days and it was difficult to get through, so I can't imagine watching this over a period of 12 weeks. That's approximately three months of the same plot. The other thing that made this eye stabbing was that it was mostly recons. Only three of the twelve chapters exist. That's just appalling for people like me who hates slow plots and bad recons put together.
Several traumatic events took place during this episode, including the loss of Katarina out an airlock, and the nasty death of Sara Kingdom. There are all sorts of arguments about whether or not these two were companions. My feeling is that if the companions are in more than one series that makes them companions. That makes Katarina a companion and Sara not. That's just me, though.
This is a continuation of the Mission to the Unknown episode, two series back. Apparently we just needed to see four weeks of the Mindless Myth Makers before we got on with the evil Dalek plotline. I don't know what these people are thinking. If you remember what happened in Mission to the Unknown, three explorers stumble upon a secret place where the Daleks are carrying on with their nefarious plan to destroy the world, on an inhospitable planet called Kembel. The three explorers are murdered by the Daleks, but not before the rescue beacon is placed, and they make a recording of what is going to happen.
In the Daleks' Master plan, Bret Vyon comes to respond to the rescue beacon at the same time the Doctor and his companions land on the planet. Steven is wounded [no surprise there], so after a really long "Should I trust you?" escapade, Bret persuades the Doctor to go with him to planet Earth to warn everyone of the Daleks' plan, in exchange for healing Steven. If I was the Doctor and had known that there was going to be eleven more chapters of this, I would have said, "HECK NO, LET HIM DIE" and ran away like a bat out of hell.
The alliance that the Daleks have with the evil people includes Mavic Chen, Guardian of Earth. Sounds like a really bad Marvel comic name, doesn't it? And did Mommy never teach you how to hold your pencil?
Mavic Chen has Taranium, which is needed to complete the Daleks' most evil weapon, called The Time Destructor. Heh heh. Really, that's the name you came up with, Terry Nation? I'm guessing it's somehow going to destroy time. That's just a guess, though.
They really seemed to like the guy with the leeches on his face. He had a lot of lines.
Or do you prefer Bubbles? He likes to hiss in between his words.
The Doctor captures one of the evil delegates [I call him Evil Scarecrow] and disguises himself so that he can steal the Taranium. Clever, eh?
The Doctor and the three escape on one of Chen's ships. They can't take the TARDIS, as the Doctor has no control when and where it will land. The next chapter is completely unnecessary, though and irritated me to no end. The Daleks, in hot pursuit, cause the stolen ship to land on a planet where prisoners have been exiled. They have to fix the ship to get it to fly again.
Meanwhile a prisoner gets on board, grabs Katarina, and orders them to head to a different planet other than Earth. He drags Katarina into an air lock to get them to change course, but to the dismay of the prisoner, Katarina pushes the airlock release button, sacrificing her life for planet Earth. NOT THE BIG RED BUTTON! Awesome.
Awesome on so many levels because we lose the most boring companion I have ever met. We get the little juicy tidbit of seeing her body float around space. That's to traumatize all the small children watching the show. Oh Doctor Who, you amuse me so.
The Doctor and Steven take a moment to talk about Katarina a little bit, how dull she was, how nobody liked her and how great she looked as she shot out the airlock....oh I guess that was me reminiscing. Steven is particularly upset about it. I think he was in love with her.I shouldn't be so horrible about her because she was barely in it, but mostly she sat around literally staring into space as everything happened around her. She barely had any lines, and most of those were murmured, quiet exclamations about how she couldn't believe where she was.
Once they are on Earth, we get to meet Sara Kingdom. She's awesome because she kills her brother right away without blinking an eye. Wait, he was your brother? Don't you need some kind of therapy? After some really boring stuff, ultimately the Doctor makes a fake Taranium core [how does he do this] that he hands to the Daleks. The Daleks are tricked and the Doctor escapes from the planet. Goodbye dead Bret, but in case we missed you, we get to see you back as the famous brigadier. Now we get to have feisty, curt, she-male Sara running around with the Doctor and Steven. And Steven really wants to be her man.
Now we get to have an interlude so to speak. This was a strange one. It was a Christmas special, not unlike the ones we have with the new Doctor. As they are hiding from the Daleks, the TARDIS first lands near a police station, and we experience a few comedic moments with the police in something like the Andy Griffith show, before they leave again. This time they land in America, in a silent film set. We get a brief glimpse of Charlie Chaplin, too. This was a very strange 25 minutes, compared to the last six chapters of the Daleks running around hell bent on burning the TARDIS to the ground and gouging out the Doctor's eyes. We're supposed to chortle merrily as we lick our candy canes and sip our eggnog. That crazy Doctor! We also get a very strange moment, as the Doctor turns to the camera and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Wait, is the Doctor talking to ME? It's finally happened! The television is talking to me. I need a doctor!!!
Anyway, I thought the last five episodes went a lot better. Not that I was exactly refreshed from the Christmas episode, but it was nice to think about something else for a few minutes. This gets way better because we get to meet the Time Meddler monk again! Hooray! I did really like the Time Meddler, and I'm happy that he is back. He's nursing a grudge after being stranded with the Vikings for so long, so he tries to get a bit of revenge. Why's he still dressed as a monk?
But his plan to sabotage the TARDIS doesn't work [oh that Doctor is a clever one] and the Doctor takes off, this time landing in ancient Egypt. Nooooo, not ancient Egypt, my most favorite time in all history......This is my worse nightmare come true. Fortunately they don't really meet any famous ancient Egyptians, but the Daleks have caught up with him, and they end up slaying a lot of the Egyptian slaves in the process. Terrific. Not.
But this time the Doctor is forced to hand over the real Taranium. Now he really does have to save planet Earth, much to our disgust. He steals the directional control from the Monk's TARDIS, which is weird 'cause why doesn't the Doctor have one for his own ship? He steers the TARDIS back to the planet Kembel to destroy the Daleks once and for all.
Unfortunately this leaves the Monk with no way to control how his TARDIS travels through time. Again we are left with the Monk shaking his fist in the air and yelling obscenities at the sky. Well they bleeped those out. No wonder the Doctor has no friends! Merry Christmas Time Meddler!
Meanwhile, the Daleks have turned against their evil allies, and imprison them all, including Chen. Chen gets into a huge huff about it, and starts proclaiming things with his pinkie in the air. What is with that pinkie?
Evil Chen tricks them into thinking that he doesn't want to have anything to do with the Daleks, even faking his own death. Surprisingly Chen is a little off his rocker. Actually he seems to have gone quite insane. He's so weird that even the Daleks can't take him anymore. And for the Daleks to think he is insane, well.....so they kill him. And they don't care. Kudos to the #1 aliens with zero remorse.
The Doctor steals the Time Destructor, and his only solution is to activate it on their planet before it gets to Earth. Wow. I think Matt Smith would have just deactivated it with his screwdriver, but to each his own. Naturally once the Time Destructor is activated, time passes forward very quickly. Sara and the Doctor attempt to make it back to the TARDIS and then we get this really, really dreadful scene in which Sara ages and turns into a frightening skeleton and finally turns to dust. Yes, dust. Keep watching, little children. The Doctor starts growing cobwebs, and he falls over, but the TARDIS is protecting Steven who is inside. Steven runs out and helps the Doctor into the TARDIS, which restores them to their current age. How does it do that?
By now the Daleks are rethinking the actual use of the Time Destructor and they attempt to blow it up with their little ray guns, but it doesn't work. They too are destroyed, as is the entire jungle planet that we've seen five thousand times before, as the Time Destructor runs itself out. Steven has some sort of traumatic remembering as he thinks about the death of his friends, particularly Sara. It's just not been a good day for anyone.
In the end I think Terry Nation went really went crazy with his plot line. TWELVE weeks of this story? I had kind of forgotten the plot line by the fourth chapter, and by the 8th freaking recon, I couldn't remember anything before the Christmas interlude. So why did you do that to us, Doctor Who? A Dalek epic? And I'm heartily sick of the Daleks. I don't want their name mentioned ever again.
Next up: The Massacre of St. Bartholomew's Eve [Ye gods.]
This was most likely supposed to be fun. That does not bode well for the next episode, since the pattern seems to be after fun comes extreme torture. I couldn't really get into though, and I'm not sure if that was because they were recons, because Greek mythology is sacred to me, or maybe the blasted stars were not in alignment.
My expert DW viewer kept saying, "This is fun isn't it?" "Ummm.....no."
I thought the idea that the Doctor created the Trojan horse, and sat inside it, was beyond ludicrous. But then again, the concept of the Trojan horse is purely myth, although there has been proof now that the city of Troy did exist, and that it was destroyed.
The idea that some of the mythological characters like Achilles and Paris existed as real people is clever. Behind much of mythology is a small grain of truth. For instance, King Arthur really did exist, but all the stories revolving around his knights of the round table are pure myth. At the time people probably built stories around these heroes who were very heroic to them. So it's not unreasonable to think that Achilles really existed, and that people built stories around them to keep their heroic deeds alive throughout history.
I am completely digressing, but while I acknowledge that these mythological people existed, a small part of me is grinding my teeth at the idea that the Doctor is affecting significant periods in history, parts of history that never actually existed. But all this is fiction, right? And I do love a good fiction story.
So in the plot the Doctor is mistaken as Zeus. Come on, Zeus? Like the father of all gods Zeus? *roll of eyes*
The Greeks and the Trojans are at war. What was very odd to me, is that they did not hide the fact that they were time travelers. In fact they stated this fact quite frequently. Even worse, the people around them accepted this as a truth. In previous historical episodes the Doctor took great care to hide into the culture and not reveal his identity, so I'm not sure why a change had occurred. Maybe because it was a mythological time?
Also weird, Vicki leaves the show. It was most unexpected for me. I didn't really get that attached to her, so I wasn't crushed when she decided to stay behind with a Trojan. Of course he's Trojan and not Greek.
While Vicki leaves, Katarina joins the team when she helps the injured Steven get back to the TARDIS. Katarina was probably the most boring character in the entire story, so I'm not exactly hopeful about her just yet. Perhaps she will improve soon.
Steven's life in this episode was rather depressing, as he is mauled, suspected as a spy, thrown into prison and seriously injured while fighting the Trojans. His role is becoming more physical, like Ian's character, but Steven still has that impetuous, hot headed personality that Ian never had.
Oh yeah, and the wooden horse? That was the flimsiest looking horse I had ever seen. There were really a bunch of men crammed into that thing? It's a wonder that it didn't collapse. Also, apparently it was built within seconds of the Doctor's proposal. That might explain everything.
Now this is a real Trojan horse.
There is a lot of fighting and carnage in this episode. But it's really no secret now that this show isn't for kids.
What did I think of this one? I have no idea what this is. Standing alone, it makes no sense whatsoever, but we get the impression that it's leading up to evilness involving --- yet again --- the Daleks. They really enjoy yelling, "Exterminate!"
Exterminate the recons!
This is the only time that the regular cast is missing. Little people get no breaks.
Evil meeting! There are only seven evil planets. Best evil guy on the far right. How does he eat?
Funny looking plant creatures that only Terry Nation can create!
There's a thorn in my hand!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
VICTORY!
P.S. I watched the recon, but it is also available in animation, thanks to Ian Levine. That name is sacred in our house. I don't know much about him, but he seems to really like Doctor Who.
Oh shall I watch the animated version, too? Shall I?
The third chapter of this episode was recovered, so we only had to suffer through three recons of the four chapters.
Once again we are faced with pictures taken from the filming, with dialogue that has very little to do with the pictures. Occasionally they had very brief moments, such as opening and shutting doors, of actual movement. As always this only makes the episode creepier. Again the problem with these recons is that the pictures never fit the dialogue. We're better off with a radio show than the recons.
The Chumblies were supposed to be the next big thing but that fell flat. They were rather cute, like little wedding cakes. Aw....look at the little cakes! Tricky Vicki is the one who names them Chumblies, so everyone in the show calls them that. Kind of peculiar.
The robots turn out to be the 'nice guys', while the Drahvins are cruel and heartless. The Drahvins and Chumblies have crash landed on the inhospitable planet, and as the planet will be destroyed soon they are trying to escape. The Drahvins are trying to steal the Chumblies' ship because their own is inoperable. So there is a massive amount of bullying, conniving, and killing on the side of the Drahvins. Shall I mention they are all women, with marks around their eyes? Xena warrior princesses gone awry. The leader of the Drahvins is named Maaga. She is really mean. I'm glad she isn't my sister.
The Drahvins hold Steven prisoner to get the Doctor to work for them. Steven gets to have these strange scenes when he tries to flirt with them so he can escape. Ian would never stoop that low. He would just defeat them with his mighty thumb.
The reptilian Rills are masters of the Chumblies, because the Rills are so dashed ugly and cannot move on their own. The leader of the Rills has a voice not unlike Orson Welles. He is so ugly, you want to die. He gets the Ugliest Alien of the Year award, or does the Slyther? I think it's about tied. The Doctor, feeling very altruistic, helps recharge the Rill's space ship using the TARDIS so they can escape. The Drahvins try to kill the Rills and the Doctor, to prevent their escape, but they fail. Turns out their fourteen dawn days are only two days before the planet is destroyed. That's what happens when you don't have clocks.
Sounds like a really bad Star Trek episode, eh?
The story ends with the Rills escaping, and the Drahvins are left there to die. This ending was particularly ugly and violent. It seems very violent just to kill them off like that. But this is what makes Doctor Who so very child friendly, does it not? Heavy sarcasm. There is also that scene in which Maaga shoots one of her kind. Wow.
I don't want to be mean, but one of the Chumblies was operated by someone named Pepi Poupee. Try saying that twenty times really fast.
Next up: Mission to the unknown. Oh snap, another recon.
I think this movie deserves a chapter in my blog. My expert viewer decided that I needed to see this, because after all, I'm getting the whole "Doctor Who experience'. We believe that there is no one who considers this movie worthy to be filed in the Doctor Who annals. Peter Cushing has never been seriously considered one of The Doctors, which goes to show that no one liked this movie.
What made this terrible for me? The plot mirrored the plot from The Daleks in Season One. It was the SAME PLOT. As if I need to see the same plot all over again! I've moved on with my life! Forcing me to watch it again just made me irritable and fussy.
And did they make it better? NO. This film was very child friendly. Okay, Doctor Who is designed for children too, but I guess there were some writers who have caught on to the fact that Doctor Who is not really for children. You cannot pull the wool over their eyes! So, let's make Doctor Who child friendly, and pretend the original episode never happened. *snicker*
This movie kind of reminded me of those old family friendly movies, such as Babes in Toyland, Willie Wonka, Wizard of Oz, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and the like. The music was even amusing and gentle. The only thing that saved this for me was that it was in color. My eyes grow weary of black and white. I don't appreciate history very much, do I? I guess the plot from the original episode was harsh and depressing. The movie managed to make this whimsical and comedic.
There were several very strange eye-rolling moments, such as the fact that the Doctor's name was 'Doctor Who', and both Susan and Barbara were his grandchildren. Susan is a mouthy 10 year old, while Barbara is a giddy teenager. Ian is an awkward, stammering silly boy who comes courting to win Barbara's heart. For once someone recognizes Barbara and Ian's relationship!
Anyway, the inside of the TARDIS looks very different, because Doctor Who has built it with his own hands. There is a conflicting story about how the TARDIS has come to be. The 1st Doctor murmured something about building it, but in the Time Meddler episode we discover that there is another time machine that looks exactly like it, meaning that it's not likely he built it on his own. Also the time traveling machine that the Time Meddler has is apparently more sophisticated than the Doctor's. Interesting. A later story is that he stole the TARDIS. This seems more likely, but this is pure speculation for the moment.
The movie budget must have been significantly larger, because they had a lot more Daleks in the shots. All hail funny colored Daleks!
Many DW fans are very particular about the Doctor being called The Doctor and not Doctor Who. It probably grated on their nerves that Peter Cushing calls himself Doctor Who. Like I said, the plot is very much the same as the original's. They made a few changes, such as the cowardly Thal who falls into the chasm and survives, rather than falling to his death with a bloodcurdling scream as in the original episode. Also the Daleks' weapons blow 'smoke' rather than a death ray. Does that make it less bloody and violent? Not particularly.
The Thals look worse in this movie, but maybe it's because the movie was in color.
They even had the creepy Dalek appendage that you see crawl from under the blanket. Wow, I really wanted to see that a second time!
There is a weird moment at the end of the movie. Instead of Barbara kissing boring Thal number 17, they are given cloaks made by the Thals. Wow. A souvenir! I guess I would have taken the cloak over the kiss any day.
Conclusion: It might not have been so bad if they'd been a bit more imaginative with the plot. Maybe.
