We are gifted yet again with another one of those 'historical' episodes. Evidently this one took a lot more liberties with history than the ones before. This irritated my husband.
Of course the plot revolved around the time of Emperor Nero and Rome burning, because it is virtually impossible for them to land in the timeline when nothing interesting is happening. "Look at all this grass growing! We're having eggs for breakfast!"
What's strange about this one is that they decide to stick around this time period, and have some sort of asinine mini vacation. When the first episode begins, they are already lounging around on sofas, eating grapes and drinking wine, implying they have been there for some time.
Where are they staying? In a villa! That does not belong to them! The owner is currently away, so they just take up residence there. Where are the Roman cops when you need them? It doesn't seem to bother them that they are living in someone else's house, either. Little children, it's okay to break into people's houses and eat their food!
But of course bad things happen to them. The gals and Ian are kidnapped and sold as slaves. Slaves. How predictable. The Doctor is mistaken as a famous musician, and is escorted to Rome to play for Nero. Of course the Doctor doesn't really know how to play harp and lyre, so his character becomes slightly amusing as he attempts to trick people into thinking he is some gifted musician. Really, Doctor. Somewhere in your long life you have surely learned to play an instrument. Or are you a harmonica type fellow?
My husband and I were bothered by this particular episode because the plot line is fairly innocuous. Their sole purpose is to escape from the Romans, and get back to the TARDIS. Come on, you can do better than that.
The gals are sold as household slaves, while Ian becomes a galley slave.
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream......
For some reason, people are lead to believe that Barbara is a stunning beauty. She is in constant danger of being raped.
They all eventually end up back in Nero's court. Barbara is a household slave, desperately attempting to keep Nero's slimy paws off her. Vicki and the Doctor are trying to stay alive despite Nero's erratic behavior, and Ian is trying to escape from the Roman soldiers. It becomes comedic as they are all running around in the same place, but no one is aware of the other's presence. It's not all rip-roaring funny, but at least this is only in four chapters, and not the usual painful six.
Nero, who is played by a famous actor, is certainly over the top and gets worse by the minute. He does crazy very well.
Okay, now this is a little too much Doctor for me. Ew.
It irritates me to no end that the Doctor has something to do with the burning of Rome. That fact that there is a creepy alien fiddling with significant moments in my history disturbs me. Can't we just get through life without assistance from a time lord? Aren't we smart enough?
The Doctor is turning crazy. The constant high pitched giggling whenever he does something clever is making me gnash my teeth. I don't think he was much of a giggling psychopath when Susan was around, because that's what Susan was for. Now that she is gone, he has no one to worry about. Cease with the giggling!
While we're at it, let me just say that Ian and Susan are totally having a sexual relationship. Because it's not an R rated show, you have to come to this conclusion from the many sidelong glances they exchange and the constant touching and flirting that goes on. Does it surprise me in the least? Not particularly. But really, I'm just waiting for them to kiss. It's inevitable. Barbara is always in great peril of being molested.
Ian and Barbara sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Ian gets to be a gladiator! AH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Get your gladiator on! Ian did the gladiator role with justice. He's so hot like that.
The downside to this particular history episode was that it pulled out all the clichés taken from Quo Vadis, Ben Hur and other stories about the Roman Empire and the Christians. They had the lions, the gladiators, the bath house, the musicians, the crazy emperor chasing the ladies, the vino, the galley slaves and even the helpful bald guy who turns out to be a secret Christian living amidst debauchery.
Time for a break from all this Doctor Who. My brain is numb. Easy on the alcohol.
Next up: The Web Planet
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